^^Queen Nefertiti^^
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« Vastaus #22 : 01.10.2010 21:24:45 » |
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Plugging the Holes in Your Life
Does your life have a lot of "holes" in it? By holes, I mean people, situations, or habits that seem to "drain" you in one way or another.
Despite your best efforts at balancing your life, you may find yourself facing serious drains on your time, energy and resources. Unless you deal with the causes of these drains and "plug the holes," so to speak, you'll forever keep running in circles as you try desperately to stay in control.
Below are several common things that can drain your time, energy and resources; and what to do about them:
Distraction
Have you ever had those days where you just can't seem to focus? Even the simplest tasks make you feel overwhelmed because you already have a million things on your mind. Distraction is usually caused by chaotic surroundings, scattered thoughts, or lack of a clear plan. When you're distracted, you are not working at an optimal level.
How to deal with distraction:
The best way I've found to deal with it is by first finding a quiet place to think and plan. Grab a notebook and pen and make a list of the things you really need to get done as soon as possible. Try to organize your thoughts by putting them down in written form (this alone helps immensely!). If your distraction is caused by chaotic surroundings you may need to find a quieter place to work, or if that's impossible you might simply use headphones or earplugs to blot out as much noise as possible. Most important is to simply have a plan of action; a clear idea of what you need to get done and how you're going to go about completing it.
Poor health habits
Believe it or not, poor health habits can have a powerful negative impact on the rest of your life. When you don't get enough rest, don't eat nutritious food or when you try to live on caffeine and sugar, your body and brain cannot function at an optimal level! They just don't have the fuel necessary to meet the demands your busy schedule places on them. As a result you end up feeling fatigued, cranky, distracted and mentally foggy. In a very real sense, poor health habits create a big "hole" through which your energy consistently drains, leaving you with the inability to meet the demands of your life.
How to plug the hole:
The answer is obvious; start taking proper care of yourself! Make it a priority to get adequate sleep each night, schedule time for exercise and proper meal-planning, and don't forget to make time for fun, recreation and personal time. Though it seems like these activities will "take away" time from your already-overloaded schedule, you'll find yourself with much more energy and stamina so you end up being able to accomplish more than you would otherwise.
Unresolved emotional issues
If you've ever had an emotional burden weighing heavily on you, you're all too familiar with the way it can drain your energy. Unresolved emotional issues can range from anger and resentment about current problems to grief and trauma from past experiences. Avoiding dealing with these issues will cause you to feel like you're moving underwater. You'll feel sluggish, weighed down and held back from creating a more balanced life.
How to resolve emotional issues:
It may sound overly simplistic, but working through them is the best way to resolve them once and for all! If you still hold a lot of anger toward someone in your past and refuse to forgive them, you're only going to keep harming yourself. Likewise, if you feel angry or resentful toward someone in your life right now, avoiding the issue will only make it worse. Instead, make a strong effort to work through these situations. There are numerous ways to do so, from having a heartfelt talk with the person you're angry with, to journaling your feelings, to working with a qualified therapist. The most important thing is to work through any pain, trauma, anger or resentment you are holding inside so you can finally release it and achieve closure. Once you do that, you will find yourself feeling much lighter and freer - which will provide the space you need to better balance your life.
Stagnant situations
Similar to unresolved emotional issues, you may need to achieve closure on situations that no longer serve you. This might include relationships that have become empty and unproductive, a job that no longer fulfills you, or even financial habits that are causing greater expense than they need to.
How to clear stagnant situations:
The answer is simple, but not exactly easy. Be willing to LET GO. Endings are hard, there's no doubt about it. But by being willing to let go of what no longer serves you, you make room for better circumstances that do! The process becomes easier when you keep that in mind. Rather than focusing on what you're "losing" by letting go, acknowledge what you stand to gain. Then take a deep breath and do some heavy pruning in your activities, habits and relationships. It may not be fun while you're in the process, but afterwards you'll marvel at how energized you feel!
Demanding people
Demanding, petulant, needy people are often referred to as "psychic vampires." Simply being in their presence can be draining and exhausting. They are impossible to please; they always focus on the negative aspects of every situation; they find fault with everything you do and say; and they generally make you feel like you're fighting a constant battle of wills. If you spend a lot of time with people like this, you'll quickly find your energy and power draining away.
How to stop them from draining your energy:
The solution seems obvious; stop spending time with people like this. However, when "people like this" happen to be your family members or co-workers or even long-time friends, the situation becomes a bit more complicated. You can't simply shut them out of your life and move to a mountaintop somewhere to avoid them. In that case, it's better to develop some strategies for coping with them more effectively.
First, limiting your exposure is a good idea. You may not be able to avoid them completely, but you can definitely do your best to spend less time with them. They'll probably be unhappy about that at first (remember, they find fault with everything anyway), but eventually they will find another target for their venom.
Second, try to be mindful of the real reasons for their dour demeanor. Believe it or not, they don't act that way just to cause you grief. Most likely, they have some deep-seated emotional issues that make them miserable. When you look at it that way, it's easier to feel compassion for them. That doesn't excuse their behavior, but at least makes it easier to not take it so personally.
Finally, remember that their beliefs and perceptions DO NOT have to become your own. Learn to step back mentally from the things they say and do. Avoid getting sucked into dire predictions and negativity as much as you can.
We've covered some pretty big issues that can drain your time, energy and resources, but there are many more. What other drains do you deal with on a daily basis? Take a close look at the areas of your life where you seem to experience trouble or difficulty, and see if there are any "holes" that need to be plugged.
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